venus/nico's accounts, forms + lists

sapphic characters

acxa (voltron)
alexander trese (trese)
alisa haiba (haikyuu!!)
allura (voltron)
amber (genshin impact)
america chavez (marvel)
amy santiago (brooklyn 99)
annabeth (rrverse)
anya (disney)
aoi (demon slayer)
applejack (my little pony)
apple white (ever after high)
april (rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles)
asami sato (the legend of korra)
astrid (roller girl)
athena cykes (ace attorney)
aurora (disney)
bianca di angelo (rrverse)
biyu (avatar)
bong-soon (strong girl bong-soon)
buzz lightyear (toy story)
cady heron (mean girls)
caitlyn kiramann (arcane)
callum (dragon prince)
calypso (rrverse)
camie utsushimi (my hero academia)
carmilla (castlevania)
cass cain (dc)
catwoman (dc)
catwoman (dc)
cindy berman (fear street)
chapa (danger force)
chen qingqing (accidentally in love)
clarisse la rue (rrverse)
claudia (the babysitter's club)
cleo de nile (monster high)
coraline jones (coraline)
cristina (grey's anatomy)
cupid (monster high and ever after high)
diana barry (anne with an e)
diluc (genshin impact)
dinah lance (dc)
eda clawthorne (the owl house)
eep (the croods)
elizabeth (pride and prejudice)
elle woods (legally blonde)
emily (the next step)
fa mulan (disney)
firestarter (warrior cats)
flavia (the henna wars)
fluttershy (my little pony)
freddy riley (laura dean keeps breaking up with me)
gamora (marvel)
genya (demon slayer)
gina (brooklyn 99)
gloria pritchett (modern family)
gogo (disney)
hajime iwaizumi (haikyuu!!)
hannah parker kent (just add magic)
haori (ace attorney)
harley quinn (dc)
harley quinn (dc)
harry hook (descendants)
hazel levesque (rrverse)
heather chandler (heathers)
hermione granger (harry potter)
hester (the school for good and evil)
hiromachi nanami (bandori)
humaira khan (hani and ishu's guide to fake dating)
hu tao (genshin impact)
iguro obanai (demon slayer)
izana (tokyo revengers)
izzy (the royal treatment)
jackie lynn thomas (star vs the forces of evil)
jack frost (rise of the guardians)
jeanne vanitas (jun mochizuki)
jim (our flag means death)
jiro (my hero academia)
jiro (my hero academia)
joan (five nights at freddy's)
june havens (knight and day)
kanao tsuyuri (demon slayer)
kanoka (haikyuu!!)
karolina dean (marvel)
katara (avatar)
kitty (bbc ghosts)
kiyoko shimizu (haikyuu!!)
komi shouko (komi can't communicate)
kori morishita (avatar comics)
kuroo tetsuro (haikyuu!!)
kuroo tetsuro (haikyuu!!)
L3 (star wars)
lain (serial experiments lain)
lance mcclain (voltron)
lara jean covey (to all the boys i've loved before)
latte cookie (cookie run)
laura kinney (marvel)
lavagirl (the adventures of sharkboy and lavagirl)
lavinia asimov (rrverse)
lela (teen beach movie)
lizzie hearts (ever after high)
lizzie mcguire (the lizzie mcguire movie)
maddie flour (amphibia)
madeline hatter (ever after high)
madoka (madoka magica)
marnie (halloweentown)
makima (chainsaw man)
makomo (demon slayer)
mal (descendants)
marcy wu (amphibia)
marnie (halloween town)
marianne (strange magic)
marie rambeau (marvel)
max mayfield (stranger things)
medea (your throne)
megara (disney)
megumin (konosuba)
meilin (avatar comics)
meredith (grey's anatomy)
merida (disney)
mika yamaka (haikyuu!!)
mina ashido (my hero academia)
min seo (butterfly soup)
mitsuri kanroji (demon slayer)
miya chinen (sk8 the infinity)
miya osamu (haikyuu!)
momo yaoyorozu (my hero academia)
morgana (merlin)
morrigan (nevermoor)
mount lady (my hero academia)
muichiro (demon slayer)
mulan (disney)
najimi (komi can't communicate)
nam on-jo (all of us are dead)
nam-ra (all of us are dead)
nene (toilet bound hanako)
nene onemine (komi can't communicate)
paige (crush)
peggy carter (marvel)
peni parker (marvel)
pidge (voltron)
power (chainsaw man)
princess peach (mario kart)
princess tiana (disney)
psyche (your throne)
raine whispers (the owl house)
rapunzel (disney)
raven queen (ever after high)
rell (league of legends)
reyna ramirez (rrverse)
riko (kuroko no basuke)
riri williams (marvel)
robaire (turning red)
robin buckley (stranger things)
rosetta (tinkerbell)
rosetta (tinkerbell)
rose tyler (doctor who)
sasha waybright (amphibia)
scarah scream (monster high)
sea fairy cookie (cookie run kingdom)
sersi (marvel)
shinobu kocho (demon slayer)
shoko (jujitsu kaisen)
silena (riordanverse)
sophie (mamma mia)
stacy hirano (phineas and ferb)
star butterfly (star vs the forces of evil)
starfire (dc)
suki (avatar)
suma (demon slayer)
tadano hitohito (komi can't communicate)
tanjiro kamado (demon slayer)
tara jones (heartstopper)
thaddea macleod (nevermoor)
thena (marvel)
tinkerbell (tinkerbell)
toga himiko (my hero academia)
tori vega (victorious)
twilight sparkle (my little pony)
uma (descendants)
uma (descendants)
usagi (sailor moon)
valkyrie (marvel)
viago (what we do in the shadows)
vidia (tinkerbell)
villanelle (killing eve)
violet parr (the incredibles)
wanda (marvel)
wanda (marvel)
willow (don't starve u)
wonder woman (dc)
yachi (haikyuu!!)
yanfei (genshin impact)
yoon i-sak (all of us are dead)
yuka (blue period)
yukie shirofuku (haikyuu!!)
zia (riordanverse)
zoe nightshade (rrverse)

ship of the week

asukari (asuka and hikari are dating!)
ha-min (ha-ri and mi-jin are dating!)
harlivy (harley and poison ivy are dating!)
honeysnow (elsa and honeymaren are dating!)
kayukie (kaori and yukie are dating!)
kuroaka (akaashi and kuroo are dating!)
meiriam (mei and miriam are dating!)
mikayachi + daimika (mika and yachi are dating, and so are mika and daisho!)
minachako (mina and ochako are dating!)
starrae (raven and starfire are dating!)
twipie (pinkie pie and twilight sparkle are dating!)
yuikiyo (michimiya and kiyoko are dating!)
phoeberry (phoebe thunderman and cherry are dating!)
aoinene (aoi and nene are dating!)
yanmiko (yanfei and yae miko are dating!)
strigana (striga and morana are dating!)

romantic

akaashi and kuroo (haikyuu!!)
alexa and liana (barbie)
anne, marcy and sasha (amphibia)
barbara gordon and starfire (dc)
charlotte and piper (henry danger)
drake mallard and launchpad mcquack (duck tales)
eddie and tommy (alpha betas)
elle and tao (heartstopper)
fluttershy and rarity (my little pony)
itto and sara (genshin impact)
itto, shinobu, xiao and yelan (genshin impact)
kuroo and daisho (haikyuu!!)
kylie and merliah (barbie)
kyoko and sayaka (madoka magica)
langa and reki (sk8 the infinity)
mina and hagakure (my hero academia)
nandor and guillermo (what we do in the shadows)
osamu and yui (haikyuu!!)
rei, usagi and minako (sailor moon)
rengoku and uzui (demon slayer)
ritsu and shou (mob psycho 100)
robecca, rochelle and venus (monster high)
sara, yelan and shenhe (genshin impact)
scaramouche and childe (genshin impact)
spiderman and deadpool (marvel)
tara and darcy (heartstopper)
test tube and fan (inanimate insanity)
yanfei and xiao (genshin impact)
yunan and olivia (amphibia)

queer platonic

akechi and saiki (the disastrous life of saiki k)
annabeth, hazel and piper (rrverse)
cheese sandwich and pinkie pie (my little pony)
cleo and clawdeen (monster high)
craig and the doctor (doctor who)
daryl and rick (walking dead)
frank and hazel (rrverse)
grenda and candy (gravity falls)
itadori, megum and nobara (juijitsu kaisen)
jotaro and kakyoin (jojo's bizarre adventures)
nishinoya and tanaka (haikyuu!!)
okuyasu and josuke (jojo's bizarre adventures)
the dazzlings (equestria girls)

unlabeled queer

emma, cleo and ricky (h2o)
gina, haori, maria and susato (ace attorney)
felicia hardy and cindy moon (marvel)
kitty chesire and maddie hatter (ever after high)
lavagirl and sharkboy (the adventures of sharkboy and lavagirl)
miles and phoenix (ace attorney)
watergirl and fireboy (cool maths games)

familial

cadence and twilight sparkle (my little pony)
eda and luz (the owl house)
gumball and darwin (the amazing world of gumball)
jeremy, molly and nick (no good nick)
komori and sakusa (haikyuu!!)
michelle and james (derry girls)
mitsuri and nezuko (demon slayer)

sibling

alisa and lev (haikyuu!!)
alphonse and edward (fullmetal alchemist)
applejack and big mac (my little pony)
elsa and anna (disney)
jinx and vi (arcane)
langa, miya and reki (sk8 the infinity)
loki, steven strange and wanda (dc)
rin and len (vocaloid)
toga himiko and shigaraki tomura (my hero academia)

platonic

andre, jade and trina (victorious)
apollo and athena (ace attorney)
bakugo and jiro (my hero academia)
bare-su and on-jo (all of us are dead)
caitlyn and jayce (arcane)
cassandra and eugene (tangled : the series)
cyborg, raven, starfire, robin and beast boy (dc)
daphne, fred, shaggy and velma (scooby-doo)
dewey, huey, louie (duck tales)
duke and olivia (she's the man)
enid, KO and rad (OK:KO! let's be heroes!)
genya, kanao and senjuro (demon slayer)
gus and willow (the owl house)
hunter and gus (the owl house)
inosuke, nezuko, tanjiro and zenitsu (demon slayer)
megumin, darkness, kazuma and agua (konosuba)
oikawa and yachi (haikyuu!!)
robin and steve (stranger things)
shinobu and uzui (demon slayer)
will and el (stranger things)
yuka and yatora (blue period)
yushiro and tamayo (demon slayer)

other

hadley and isla (barbie princess charm school)
harley quinn and punchline (dc)
harry, hermione and ron (harry potter)
hitoka, tadashi and kei (haikyuu!!)
kiana, mei and himeko (honkai impact)
pete dinglewood, oswald, toby billings, millie fitzsimmons, sarah and alec (five nights at freddies)
shinji, rei and asuka (neon genesis evangelion)
shoyo, atsumu and tobio (haikyuu!!)
ushijima and goshiki (haikyuu!!)
yamai and nanaka (komi can't communicate)
zuko and suki (avatar)

submitted characters

ango sakaguchi (bungou stray dogs)
luz noceda (the owl house)
ritsu kageyama (mob psycho 100)

my characters

jason grace (rrverse)
anne boonchuy (amphibia)
frankie stein (monster high)
rarity (my little pony)
poison ivy (harley quinn: the animated show)
eda clawthorne (the owl house)
mingxia (avatar comics)
kageyama tobio (haikyuu!!)
ruby roundhouse (jumanji)
nezuko kamado (demon slayer)

post order

"I'm going to be a librarian," Thaddea declared rapturously, as a trail of putrid pus-coloured slime dripped down the side of her head.
"I'm so sorry that crawling around in the sewers isn't my idea of a good time. We can't all be Thaddea No-Retreat of Clan Macleod."
"A weirdo who gets to go into the sewers at night and hunt monsters," Thaddea pointed out triumphantly, as if she'd just been granted the best treat imaginable.
“You mean creepy,” said Thaddea, casting a sidelong look at Lambeth.
“Streets, buildings, squares, temples,” said Thaddea, sounding a bit bored, or perhaps woozy.
One by one, the scholars all nodded - even Thaddea, who looked as if that simple act of concession was torture.
“Why do you care?”
She couldn't stop thinking about Thaddea. About the look on her face when she'd left the dojo, and the miserable silence she'd kept in the days since.
"Yeah, Dr Kahlo," added the brawny Thaddea Macleod, nudging Anah in the side and nearly knocking her over. (It was a gentle nudge by Thaddea's standards, but sometimes she forgot her own considerable strength.)
Thaddea kicked the wall.
"No." Lam dropped her basket, spilling its contents down the steps, and grasped Thaddea's forearm with both hands. "No, Thaddea. Bad idea."
"The pool?" Thaddea looked as if he'd just suggested setting fire to an orphanage.
In fifth place was Thaddea Macleod, a brawny redheaded girl from the Highlands who defeated a full-sized adult troll in single combat.
"Fifty thousand!" muttered Thaddea. "Imagine having that much money and spending it all just to see Morrigan be a bit rubbish."Morrigan scrunched her nose. “Thaddea, I don’t think is meant to be a comp-”
“EVERYTHING IS A COMPETITION.”
Thaddea’s face dropped as she read the note. “No. No way.” She gave a ferocious shake of her head. “NO. WAY.”
Thaddea and Hawthorne seemed to be enjoying themselves too, though Morrigan couldn't say the same for the others.
“Stop mesmering us!” Thaddea protested, a slight note of panic in her voice. Cadence scoffed. “I’m not mesmerising you, you moron. I’m telling you what to do - there’s a difference.”
"Camouflage and Disguise!" said Thaddea. She twisted her long red hair into a topknot and rolled up her grey shirtsleeves, as if keen to get started immediately. "We're going to learn evasive combat techniques, aren't we? Finally."
She strongly suspected Thaddea would enjoy any excuse to kick someone in the shins, but nonetheless
"Yes!" cried Thaddea. "It's so mean. To all of us, but especially to Morrigan."
Thaddea gave Mahir a swift, hard punch in the arm.
It was chaotic, absurdly unfair, all-ages free-for-all in which a barefoot kickboxer might find herself fighting a swordsmith in chainmail, and it was - inexplicably - Thaddea’s favourite thing in the world.
"Are you saying that as an oracle, or a scaredy-cat?"
“Thaddea Macleod, fighter.”
"Far East Sang." Thaddea's face turned patchily red. "You're from the Republic?"
"Sometimes people travel from the Highlands all the way to Nevermoor via the river," Thaddea told them. "Doesn't mean they're spies." She walked around the vessel in a circle, knocking on random parts of the outer shell.
"It's Thaddea's sweaty wrestling kit," said Anah, wrinkling her nose. "Is that still sitting there from yesterday? Honestly."
“Oh, poor you,” snapped Thaddea, rolling her eyes in disgust. “Must be so hard, having such special-snowflake talent that you get to see three whole floors that the rest of us are banned from. I’m positively aching with sympathy-”
Morrigan thought Thaddea’s attempt sounded the closest.
“Who died and made you the king of this unit?”
“What’re we meant to do?” asked the girl standing next to Morrigan’s left. Brawny, square-shouldered, pink-faced and at least a head taller than Morrigan, she had a thick Highland accent and tangled red hair that hung halfway down her back.
“It’s obvious isn’t it?” snapped Thaddea. “It’s talking about you. The truth about you being a Wundersmith. We’re being blackmailed because of you.”
Until about six weeks ago, Morrigan had been a greysleeve - a scholar of the Mundane Arts, just like Hawthorne, Anah, Mahir, Arch, Francis and Thaddea.
Thaddea looked at her as if she was mad. "Oh, well, I'm sorry I never learned how to distract an angry mob. What do you want me to do, JUMP OUT OF A BIRTHDAY CAKE?"
Morrigan smiled ruefully. "Thaddea said it's all I ever talk about."
“Miss, how come I don’t have any cool dragon stuff in my timetable? It’s not fair. I love dragons.”
Even bad-tempered Thaddea had offered once to kick an older boy in the shins when he loudly called Morrigan ‘The Knackless One’ on the steps outside Proudfoot House.
Thaddea and Anah were poring over a medical journal and arguing about the best way to splint a broken leg.
This, Morrigan remembered, was Thaddea Macleod. The girl who’d fought a full-grown adult troll in her Show Trial and won.
“Should you require something, be it rosin for your instrument, or a set of scrubs, or a machete-” she eyeballed Archan, Anah and Thaddea by turns
The doors swung open again, and Thaddea stalked into the Map Room, closely followed by Anah, running to keep up.
Morrigan was surprised. Was he just going to ignore the gash on Thaddea’s forehead? Anah was right, it did look serious - there was now a thick rivulet of blood dripping down the side of Thaddea’s face.
Thaddea gasped as if she'd just had the most important revelation of her life. "Miss! This is destiny. There's a fight on at the Trollosseum tomorrow between Grimsgorgenblarg the Mighty and Fladnak the Fit. Can we go, miss? Please?"
She made a noise of disgust and pulled away, realising too late she’d leaned against the part of the wall showing the Albertine Ocean in the Fourth Pocket, and it had soaked through the back of her jumper.
"Oh! We've got another volunteer up the back there…What's your name, my young friend?"
She leapt up from her seat. "Thaddea No-Retreat of Clan Macleod."
"Shut up about Sub-Nine, will you? It's all you ever talk about lately." She kicked at an old table-leg in frustration. "Sub-Nine this, Wundrous Arts that. Whiny Binky this-"
“Are you any good, miss?” asked Thaddea, licking chocolate off her fingers and changing the subject altogether, “On the tightrope?”
"Couldn't you have just…y'know. Mesmerised the lot of 'em?" asked Thaddea. "Done your funny voice thing, told everyone to pack it in and go home?"
A pair of dragons and their riders flew above Proudfoot House, spelling out nine names in fire and smoke across the sky [...] THADDEA
“Look - roller derby on Friday afternoon, with Linda.”
Thaddea looked doubtful. “What’s so cool about Linda?”
“She plays roller derby, for starters. And bass guitar. And she’s a centaur, that’s pretty cool.”
Terrifying, Morrigan thought - but also, to be fair, quite resourceful.
"Ugh, that's just Will Gaudy," Thaddea groaned. "There's no elephantwun, he's been trying to get people to believe that stupid story all day. I heard there's a snakewun in there that went on a killing spree and ate a family of five and they all had to be cut out of it's stomach."
“Hello!?” Thaddea shouted, waving a hand in front of her face. Lambeth flinched. She recovered quickly to turn a haughty disapproving glare on Thaddea, who quailed slightly and lowered her voice.
“Oh, shut up, Swift.”
Morrigan felt dreadful for her. She'd been so proud of her Combat Club record, so rightfully proud. And to lose to Will Gaudy, of all people. Morrigan was astonished and heartened that Thaddea had kept her word, and sacrificed something so important to her, all for the good of the unit.
A week of listening to Thaddea sing the praises of her wrestling coach, a bearwun called Brutilus Brown
"Have you made any monsters yet, Morrigan?" Thaddea piped up. "Something with lots of teeth I hope."
Morrigan couldn’t answer her question [...] mostly because she was reliving in her mind the moment Thaddea had swiped Elder Wong’s chair out from underneath him and used it to kneecap the troll with a sickening crack.
Morrigan felt dreadful for her.
She cracked her knuckles, looking keen to start protecting the Free State from forces that wish to harm.
“I never asked to have a WUNDERSMITH in my family!” snarled Thaddea.
She liked to recap her matches to the rest of her unit each week, in violent unflinching detail.
“Granddaughter of Deirdre the Deathbringer, great-granddaughter of Eileen Never-Surrender, great-great-granddaughter of Ailsa the Tetchy, great-great-great granddaughter of Betty One-Kick, great-great-great-GREAT grandaughter-"
"What? She is, though. No offence, Morrigan."
"Pfft, who cares what Thaddea says?" Hawthorne piped up. "She's only jealous. I think we all are, to be honest. I wish I could see the ghostly hours."
Morrigan doubted she’d enjoyed the phrase, ‘just as important and twice as powerful’.
"Thaddea!" she called out. "Wait, I'm-"
"Leave me alone," Thaddea barked over her shoulder.
"I just want to say-"
"Just don't."
Morrigan watched her go, feeling worse than ever.
That said, Lambeth had done the same when Thaddea questioned her, so perhaps they’d been instructed not to say anything.
But she didn’t. In the first round - in the first minute - Thaddea allowed herself to be overwhelmed by WIll’s ridiculous footwork and weak, ineffectual jabs. She didn’t even try to make it believable.
"Morrigan?" said a familiar voice, and Thaddea's wild ginger head came into view. Her horrified expression suggested that Morrigan must look about as terrible as she felt. "Morrigan, what's - your leg - you're bleeding! What happened?"
Everyone looked miserable and exhausted, but relieved to be out of the chaos…except for Thaddea, who gazed out through the rippled glass, watching Roshni and the bookfighters in awe.
“When do we find out which school we’re in?” asked Thaddea, sitting up as straight as possible in her beanbag.
"That was the test, Thaddea," said Mahir.
"I know that was the test, Mahir," said Thaddea, mimicking his voice. "I just mean… it's so…"
"Mean?" said Cadence.
Morrigan insisted. "It's not. Don't you remember what you said? When we had that argument before the summer holidays? You were the one who was all about learning how to distract people. You're the one who said how important it was."
"Well, maybe you should," she spat. "Since out of all of us, you're the one who's got the most to prove. Wundersmith." She said the word with so much venom that Morrigan flinched.
A strange squirming guilt bubbled away inside Morrigan like poison. “Thaddea will never forgive me.”
"You two are thinking about this the wrong way," said Thaddea. She pulled her long tangle of red hair into a messy ponytail and rolled up her sleeves. "We're not here to do the bare minimum. We've got to go big or go home."
She yanked her cloak out of Morrigan's hand and ran to join the Society members swarming down the drive.
Anah made a face as she straightened up, but seemed somewhat mollified by Thaddea's use of the word 'doctor'.
“Just let me look at it, Thaddea,” she said, fussing around the taller girl’s face with a damp cloth. “It looks dreadful. You don’t want to get an infection, do you?”
Thaddea was only too happy to re-enact Morrigan's dramatic fainting over and over; Morrigan highly doubted she'd told Gavin Squires he had pretty eyes as she was loaded into the ambulance.

chronological order

In fifth place was Thaddea Macleod, a brawny redheaded girl from the Highlands who defeated a full-sized adult troll in single combat.
“What’re we meant to do?” asked the girl standing next to Morrigan’s left. Brawny, square-shouldered, pink-faced and at least a head taller than Morrigan, she had a thick Highland accent and tangled red hair that hung halfway down her back.
This, Morrigan remembered, was Thaddea Macleod. The girl who’d fought a full-grown adult troll in her Show Trial and won.
Morrigan couldn’t answer her question [...] mostly because she was reliving in her mind the moment Thaddea had swiped Elder Wong’s chair out from underneath him and used it to kneecap the troll with a sickening crack.
Terrifying, Morrigan thought - but also, to be fair, quite resourceful.
A pair of dragons and their riders flew above Proudfoot House, spelling out nine names in fire and smoke across the sky [...} THADDEA
Within moments they were joined by Thaddea
“You mean creepy,” said Thaddea, casting a sidelong look at Lambeth.
“Thaddea Macleod, fighter.”
“Brilliant,” Said Thaddea.
“When do we find out which school we’re in?” asked Thaddea, sitting up as straight as possible in her beanbag.
She cracked her knuckles, looking keen to start protecting the Free State from forces that wish to harm.
“So my fellow greysleeves are Anah, Arch, Mahir, Hawthorne, Morrigan, Thaddea and Francis.”
“Are you any good, miss?” asked Thaddea, licking chocolate off her fingers and changing the subject altogether, “On the tightrope?”
She suspected Thaddea was only asking because she was annoyed she wasn’t in the School of Arcane Arts.
Morrigan doubted she’d enjoyed the phrase, ‘just as important and twice as powerful’.
“Oh, poor you,” snapped Thaddea, rolling her eyes in disgust. “Must be so hard, having such special-snowflake talent that you get to see three whole floors that the rest of us are banned from. I’m positively aching with sympathy-”
“Should you require something, be it rosin for your instrument, or a set of scrubs, or a machete-” she eyeballed Archan, Anah and Thaddea by turns
Thaddea was scouring her classes, looking increasingly annoyed.
“Miss, how come I don’t have any cool dragon stuff in my timetable? It’s not fair. I love dragons.”
The conductor took a seat on the couch next to Thaddea, leaning in to look over her shoulder. “Well you do have other cool stuff.”
“Look - roller derby on Friday afternoon, with Linda.”
Thaddea looked doubtful. “What’s so cool about Linda?”
“She plays roller derby, for starters. And bass guitar. And she’s a centaur, that’s pretty cool.”
Miss Cheery nudged Thaddea, who was looking sulky. “Don’t worry, I’ll find you something else just as interesting. I promise.”
“What’s this class - Recognising Mesmerism?”
“I’ve got that one too,” said Anah. [...]
“So do I,” said Thaddea.
That said, Lambeth had done the same when Thaddea questioned her, so perhaps they’d been instructed not to say anything.
A week of listening to Thaddea sing the praises of her wrestling coach, a bearwun called Brutilus Brown
Apparently it was not marvellous, judging by the faces around her. Francis and Mahir were gazing determinedly at the floor, while Thaddea looked openly appalled.
The doors swung open again, and Thaddea stalked into the Map Room, closely followed by Anah, running to keep up.
“Just let me look at it, Thaddea,” she said, fussing around the taller girl’s face with a damp cloth. “It looks dreadful. You don’t want to get an infection, do you?”
“For the millionth time,” said the red-headed girl through gritted teeth, “I’m FINE. Stop your bleating.”
“You’re being ridiculous, huffed Anah, shaking her head of ringlets. “And you’re BLEEDING!”
“Nobody asked you,” Thaddea snapped. She was, indeed, bleeding from what looked like a fairly serious gash in her forehead.
“Nothing, sir,” echoed Thaddea, looking him squarely in the face, her chin jutting definitely upwards.
Mildmay pressed his mouth into a line as if he was trying to not smile at Thaddea’s bullish expression, and cleared his throat.
Morrigan was surprised. Was he just going to ignore the gash on Thaddea’s forehead? Anah was right, it did look serious - there was now a thick rivulet of blood dripping down the side of Thaddea’s face.
“Hello!?” Thaddea shouted, waving a hand in front of her face. Lambeth flinched. She recovered quickly to turn a haughty disapproving glare on Thaddea, who quailed slightly and lowered her voice.
“We’re meant to be looking down there, not at the ceiling.” She pointed at the three-dimensional map of Nevermoor.
“Streets, buildings, squares, temples,” said Thaddea, sounding a bit bored, or perhaps woozy.
“It’s impossible,” grumbled Thaddea, moving away from the map of Nevermoor to slump against the curved wall.
She made a noise of disgust and pulled away, realising too late she’d leaned against the part of the wall showing the Albertine Ocean in the Fourth Pocket, and it had soaked through the back of her jumper.
“Nevermoor is ridiculous.”
Morrigan thought Thaddea’s attempt sounded the closest.
Even bad-tempered Thaddea had offered once to kick an older boy in the shins when he loudly called Morrigan ‘The Knackless One’ on the steps outside Proudfoot House.
She strongly suspected Thaddea would enjoy any excuse to kick someone in the shins, but nonetheless
“We should take it to the Elders.”
“I KNOW what it says, but I still think we should-”
“Who died and made you the king of this unit?”
“Oh, I’m glad you’ve finally remembered we’re a UNIT, Thaddea.”
“It’s obvious isn’t it?” snapped Thaddea. “It’s talking about you. The truth about you being a Wundersmith. We’re being blackmailed because of you.”
“Shut up, Thaddea,” growled Hawthorne.
Anah was trembling, “Thaddea’s right. We ought to tell the Elders,” she said.
Thaddea snatched the note back from Hawthorne. “This note proves it’s not our fault, though! I’m taking it to the Elders. I don’t care what you- OW!”
“How - how did they do that?” Thaddea put her burned fingers in her mouth. Her eyes darted around the station, looking for whoever had magically sent the letter up in flames.
Thaddea scowled. “We can still-”
“Yeah you have to say that, you’re her friend.”
“I never asked to have a WUNDERSMITH in my family!” snarled Thaddea.
“Stop mesmering us!” Thaddea protested, a slight note of panic in her voice. Cadence scoffed. “I’m not mesmerising you, you moron. I’m telling you what to do - there’s a difference.”
One by one, the scholars all nodded - even Thaddea, who looked as if that simple act of concession was torture.
In that moment, she wanted to confess everything - about the note left on their platform, and how it had burned up in Thaddea’ hand
“What’s this?” Thaddea asked one afternoon, after Miss Cheery had dropped them all back at Station 919. She was staring at her food, which had a piece of folded blue paper stuck to it.
Thaddea’s face dropped as she read the note. “No. No way.” She gave a ferocious shake of her head. “NO. WAY.”
Thaddea Millicent Macleod.
You have a fights scheduled in tomorrow afternoon’s Combat Clb, against an unknown opponent. You will throw the fight. If you do not deliberately lose, we will reveal the secret of Unit 919.
Remember : Tell no one. Or we will tell everyone.
“I’ve never lost a fight in my life,” Thaddea said, folding her arms across her chest. “And I’m not going to start now.”
Thaddea was silent.
Why would someone want Thaddea to - oh, she thought suddenly. Oh! “Thaddea, who will you be fighting?”
“Why do you care?”
“It’s random,” Thaddea interrupted flatly. “Opponents are picked out of a hat just before you step in the ring. It could be anyone, in any unit, from any combat class.” Her face was growing stormier by the second.
“Whoever it is, they don’t want someone else to win. They just want me to lose. But I’m not doing it.”
He looked like he might cry. “Thaddea, please. I just can’t. My aunt will-”
“Oh, my aunt, my aunt,” said Thaddea in a mocking voice. “Be quiet about your aunt for once. What about my dad? He’d probably die of shame if he knew I’d deliberately lost a fight. This is a matter of principle! Macleods don’t throw fights.”
“Oh, shut up, Swift.”
Thaddea stuck her hand in the air, staring bullishly at Cadence.
Said Hawthorne, glaring at Thaddea as he shoved his hand in the air.
Thaddea kicked the wall.
A strange squirming guilt bubbled away inside Morrigan like poison. “Thaddea will never forgive me.”
In the biggest dojo on Sub-Five, Thaddea had already entered the ring.
It was chaotic, absurdly unfair, all-ages free-for-all in which a barefoot kickboxer might find herself fighting a swordsmith in chainmail, and it was, inexplicably - Thaddea’s favourite thing in the world.
She liked to recap her matches to the rest of her unit each week, in violent unflinching detail.
Despite being the youngest fighter, she was Combat Club’s undefeated champion.
“Right. Who’s taking on Macleod?”
Morrigan knew Thaddea couldn’t stand him.
Thaddea’s face fell as she watched him enter the ring. Of all the fighters in the dojo, to record her first ever loss against WIll Gaudy, the mouthy shrimp.
If Will won this fight, he would never, ever, ever let her hear the end of it.
It surely wasn’t Will himself - who, despite his bravado, was looking positively queasy at the thought of fighting Thaddea.
Part of her wondered if Thaddea was going to change her mind and refuse to throw the fight. Part of her thought she ought too.
But she didn’t. In the first round - in the first minute - Thaddea allowed herself to be overwhelmed by WIll’s ridiculous footwork and weak, ineffectual jabs. She didn’t even try to make it believable.
The first time Will's fist connected with her face (because she basically served it up to him on a platter), she hit the floor and was out for the count.
If the blackmailer's wanted Thaddea to lose this fight, surely they'd be here to watch it.
While Will basked in a shower of cheers and applause, Thaddea jumped down from the ring and trudged straight past Morrigan.
"Thaddea!" she called out. "Wait, I'm-"
"Leave me alone," Thaddea barked over her shoulder.
"I just want to say-"
"Just don't."
Morrigan watched her go, feeling worse than ever.
She couldn't stop thinking about Thaddea. About the look on her face when she'd left the dojo, and the miserable silence she'd kept in the days since.
Morrigan felt dreadful for her. She'd been so proud of her Combat Club record, so rightfully proud. And to lose to Will Gaudy, of all people. Morrigan was astonished and heartened that Thaddea had jept her word, and sacrificed something so important yo her, all for the good of the unit.
If Thaddea was willing to lose to Will Gaudy, and if Francis could stay up all night long baking the world's most ridiculous cake, then she could find out who was behind all this.
Predictably, Thaddea and Hawthorne were the first volunteers. They practically knocked each other out trying to get to the front of the group.
Thaddea gave an impatient huff. "Don't be such a baby, Francis. It's only a Pink Alert, for goodness' sake."
"Thaddea, don't be mean," said Mildmay, and then, "Although, she's right, Francis."
She'd thought Thaddea's sulking had been bad, but Francis's was much worse.
Francis followed Thaddea and Anah, while Mahir led Arch and Lambeth in another direction.
"Oh, terrific," said Thaddea, glowering at her. "We've all just been here taking massive risks to keep protecting your secret. How 'bout you? Nice week at home in your fancy hotel, was it?"
"Shut up, Thaddea," said Hawthorne, but he was drowned out by the chug-chug-chug of Hometrain arriving.
Morrigan sighed as she watched Thaddea and the others march into the carriage without sparing her a second glance.
Cadence, Arch and Lambeth filed into the first spherical brass railpod; Thaddea, Anah and Hawthorne took the second.
"I don't understand," said Thaddea finally. "Why did they blackmail us to keep Morrigan's secret, when they were just going to make her tell everyone anyway? What a dirty trick."
"That was the test, Thaddea," said Mahir.
"I know that was the test, Mahir," said Thaddea, mimicking his voice. "I just mean… it's so…"
"Mean?" said Cadence.
"Yes!" cried Thaddea. "It's so mean. To all of us, but especially to Morrigan."
"Far East Sang." Thaddea's face turned patchily red. "You're from the Republic?"
"Yeah, Dr Kahlo," added the brawny Thaddea Macleod, nudging Anah in the side and nearly knocking her over. (It was a gentle nudge by Thaddea's standards, but sometimes she forgot her own considerable strength.)
Anah made a face as she straightened up, but seemed somewhat mollified by Thaddea's use of the word 'doctor'.
"What about your old factory?" asked Thaddea.
"Camouflage and Disguise!" said Thaddea. She twisted her long red hair into a topknot and rolled up her grey shirtsleeves, as if keen to get started immediately. "We're going to learn evasive combat techniques, aren't we? Finally."
Mahir, Hawthorne and Thaddea shouted the vulgar translation in gleeful unison.
Until about six weeks ago, Morrigan had been a greysleeve - a scholar of the Mundane Arts, just like Hawthorne, Anah, Mahir, Arch, Francis and Thaddea.
"Oh, just open the door," Thaddea groaned, pushing past him.
"What're we meant to do?" asked the on-screen Thaddea. The on-screen Morrigan peeked sideways at her, looking smaller and more intimated than she remembered feeling.
Hawthorne copied them, and Mahir, Arch and Thaddea quickly followed.
Thaddea's hand, though, shot into the air so fast it might have had an engine. The rest of Unit 919 turned to look at her in horror.
"Thaddea, you don't seriously want to crawl down into the sewers and round up a bunch of those… things?" Anah asked in an incredulous whisper.
"You don't seriously think I'd miss a chance to fight the Nevermoor Scaly Sewer Beast?" Thaddea whispered back at her, practically bouncing up and down in her seat to be seen by Gavin.
"Oh! We've got another volunteer up the back there…What's your name, my young friend?"
She leapt up from her seat. "Thaddea No-Retreat of Clan Macleod."
Morrigan looked from Hawthorne to Cadence and back again, trying not to giggle. Thaddea who of Clan Macleod?
"Proudly born and raised atop the Highlands, in the Third Pocket of the Free State," Thaddea continued in a resounding voice.
"Daughter of Mary the Heart-Eater and Malcolm the Mellow, granddaughter of Deirdre the Deathbringer, great-granddaughter of Eileen Never-Surrender, great-great-granddaughter of Ailsa the Tetchy, great-great-great granddaughter of Betty One-Kick, great-great-great-GREAT grandaughter-"
"Well, Thaddea No-Retreat of Clan Macleod," Gavin interrupted, holding up a hand and smiling widely, "if you're that desperate to risk your limbs and spend days smelling like excrement, who am I to stop you? Welcome aboard."
There was a vaguely shell-shocked round of applause for Thaddea from the older units as she took her seat, and a general sense of relief that all the spots on the mission had been filled and nobody else needed to volunteer.
"Such a weirdo," muttered Cadence, giving her a half-hearted clap.
"A weirdo who gets to go into the sewers at night and hunt monsters," Thaddea pointed out triumphantly, as if she'd just been granted the best treat imaginable.
Even Unit 919, excluding Thaddea, had a small role to play…something Morrigan was a little apprehensive about.
"Me too." Thaddea stepped forward, hands on hips. Morrigan had to stop a gurgle of shocked laughter escaping her throat. "I know six different martial arts and I can swing a sledgehammer like it's a yo-yo. Shall I demonstrate?"
The rest of the unit burst into laughter, Thaddea clapped Anah on the back and Mahir shouted, "Brava!" and just like that, all the tension of the confrontation had dissipated.
"It's Thaddea's sweaty wrestling kit," said Anah, wrinkling her nose. "Is that still sitting there from yesterday? Honestly."
"Well, I've got wrestling again this morning, haven't I?" Thaddea fired back at her as she stuffed the kit into her satchel. "No sense washing it twice, is there?"
Anah looked exasperated. "There's an awful lot of sense in doing that, Thaddea."
"I wasn't talking about Thaddea's stinky socks." Hawthorne held up his timetable, pointing to a class on Thursday morning.
-

"Morrigan?" said a familiar voice, and Thaddea's wild ginger head came into view. Her horrified expression suggested that Morrigan must look about as terrible as she felt. "Morrigan, what's - your ley - you're bleeding! What happened?"
But even as she shot Thaddea a proud grin, she felt it sliding woozily off her face.
Thaddea was only too happy to re-enact Morrigan's dramatic fainting over and over; Morrigan highly doubted she'd told Gavin Squires he had pretty eyes as she was loaded into the ambulance.
"Ugh, that's just Will Gaudy," Thaddea groaned. "There's no elephantwun, he's been trying to get people to believe that stupid story all day. I heard there's a snakewun in there that went on a killing spree and ate a family of five and they all had to be cut out of it's stomach."
"Thaddea!" said Miss Cheery, "That's horrible, and very much not true."
"That's only what I heard, miss."
"Have you made any monsters yet, Morrigan?" Thaddea piped up. "Something with lots of teeth I hope."
Morrigan was in a group with Thaddea and Francis, and Thaddea immediately took charge.
"Right." She beckoned them closer, speaking in a low voice. "We need to steal something impressive, because we're already at a disadvantage over the other two groups."
Thaddea looked at him and gave a huge, theatrical shrug. "Let's think. One of them's got a mesmerist and one's got Arch, whose knack is literally theft."
Morrigan scrunched her nose. "Thaddea, I don't think this is meant to be a comp-"
"EVERYTHING IS A COMPETITION."
Francis and Morrigan glanced at each other in a silent understanding that it was probably best to let Thaddea have this one.
Thaddea chose their mark carefully: a big, sprawling pawn shop called Secondhand City.
"You two are thinking about this the wrong way," said Thaddea. She pulled her long tangle of red hair into a messy ponytail and rolled up her sleeves. "We're not here to do the bare minimum. We've got to go big or go home."
They wasted ten minutes running up and down the aisles, making dozens of suggestions that Thaddea turned down.
Thaddea rolled her eyes. "That's the stupidest idea I've ever-"
"Weird-looking boat," said Thaddea, jiggling a rusty handle.
Thaddea and Morrigan withdrew immediately, covering their noses
"Ugh, it stinks," said Thaddea."It smells like seaweed and dead fish."
In his enthusiasm, he reached out to open the door wider, but Thaddea slammed it shut.
"Sometimes people travel from the Highlands all the way to Nevermoor via the river," Thaddea told them. "Doesn't mean they're spies." She walked around the vessel in a circle, knocking on random parts of the outer shell.
Thaddea stood between Francis and Morrigan, placing a hand on each of their shoulders. Her eyes were suddenly shining. "Guys, this is it. This is what we're stealing."
Morrigan stared at her. "Thaddea…you cannot be serious. That thing is huge. How are we going to carry it out of here?"
"There are three of us! And I've got the strength of three people, so technically there are five of us.
"Technically still three," Francis disagreed.
Thaddea's face had turned bright pink with excitement. "Come on, can you imagine everyone's faces when we show up back at Wunsoc with this thing?"
"You think we're going to get that thing all the way back to Wunsoc? Thaddea, how?"
"Ugh, not Sub-Nine again," Thaddea groaned.
"Shut up about Sub-Nine, will you? It's all you ever talk about lately." She kicked at an old table-leg in frustration. "Sub-Nine this, Wundrous Arts that. Whiny Binky this-"
"I'm sick of hearing about it!" said Thaddea, her eyes flashing.
"How you'd rather be down in your secret school on your private floor while we're all trying to get better at this stuff - you know, the stuff that the Wundrous Society actually exists for? It's like you don't even care."
"I'm so sorry that crawling around in the sewers isn't my idea of a good time. We can't all be Thaddea No-Retreat of Clan Macleod."
"It's not supposed to be about having a good time, though, is it? We have a job to do. We're supposed to be working hard and making ourselves useful and doing some good in the realm!"
"I asked Gavin Squires if I could join the Beastly Division and you know what he told me?" Thaddea barrelled on. "He said we had to start proving ourselves if we want to join the big kids. All of us. We have to prove ourselves as a unit."
"Well, maybe you should," she spat. "Since out of all of us, you're the one who's got the most to prove. Wundersmith." She said the word with so much venom that Morrigan flinched.
Francis looked nervously from her to Thaddea and back again.
Thing were still tense between Morrigan and Thaddea when they got to Hometrain later that afternoon. Morrigan couldn't forget the way Thaddea had hissed Wundersmith at her, and Thaddea was positively seething over the other teams' successful thefts.
Thaddea gasped as if she'd just had the most important revelation of her life. "Miss! This is destiny. There's a fight on at the Trollosseum tomorrow between Grimsgorgenblarg the Mighty and Fladnak the Fit. Can we go, miss? Please?"
"The pool?" Thaddea looked as if he'd just suggested setting fire to an orphanage.
Cadence and Hawthorne looked at her as if she'd gone made. Thaddea scowled.
"Miss, I don't think you understand," said Thaddea as they all disembarked. "Grimsgorgenblarg and Fladnak-"
Thaddea gave Mahir a swift, hard punch in the arm.
Thaddea was even worse, walking at a snail's pace in silent protest. (She still hadn't spoken to Mahir or Morrigan. 'Macleods Don't Forgive,' apparently.)
Morrigan heard Hawthorne whisper a jubilant "Yesssss," and even Thaddea perked up a little.
Thaddea and Anah were poring over a medical journal and arguing about the best way to splint a broken leg.
She had dropped her pile of books and was holding her arms out, trying to protect Mahir and Thaddea, who were nearest to her.
Thaddea and Hawthorne seemed to be enjoying themselves too, though Morrigan couldn't say the same for the others.
Everyone looked miserable and exhausted, but relieved to be out of the chaos…except for Thaddea, who gazed out through the rippled glass, watching Roshni and the bookfighters in awe.
"I'm going through be a librarian," Thaddea declared rapturously, as a trail of putrid pus-coloured slime dripped down the side of her head.
Thadde reached out to slide back the metal bolt. "We have to get out there and help!"
"Do not touch that door, Thaddea Macleod!" shouted Miss Cheery as the engine roared into life.
She told them about the vessel she, Francis and Thaddea had found in the pawn shop on Grand Boulevard, and what Francis had told her about submarines and spies.
Thaddea and Anah had snaked through the gathering crowd to join them.
"Why isn't anyone defending the High Council?" asked Thaddea. She rolled up her sleeves as if preparing for a fight. "We should all be down there."
"Couldn't you have just…y'know. Mesmerised the lot of 'em?" asked Thaddea. "Done your funny voice thing, told everyone to pack it in and go home?"
Cadence rolled her eyes. "My 'funny voice thing' doesn't really scale up, Thaddea."
"Not doing a very good job, though, are they?" said Thaddea. "Listen to them, they're getting worse."
"That's it," said Thaddea. "I'm going down there to help. The Elders won't stand a chance holding that lot back on their own."
"Shut up, Swift. Who's with me?" Thaddea glared.
"No." Lam dropped her basket, spilling its contents down the steps, and grasped Thaddea's forearm with both hands. "No, Thaddea. Bad idea."
"Are you saying that as an oracle, or a scaredy-cat?"
"But miss, look-"
"I said now, Thaddea."
"Thaddea, stop," she said, grabbing hold of her cloak. "You're only going to make it worse. This isn't what the Society's for."
"What? This is exactly what we're-"
Morrigan insisted. "It's not. Don't you remember what you said? When we had that argument before the summer holidays? You were the one who was all about learning how to distract people. You're the one who said how important it was."
Thaddea looked at her as if she was mad. "Oh, well, I'm sorry I never learned how to distract an angry mob. What do you want me to do, JUMP OUT OF A BIRTHDAY CAKE?"
She yanked her cloak out of Morrigan's hand and ran to join the Society members swarming down the drive.
"Thaddea, come back!" cried Anah.
"Fifty thousand!" muttered Thaddea. "Imagine having that much money and spending it all just to see Morrigan be a bit rubbish."
Miss Cheery sighed again. "Thaddea."
"What? She is, though. No offence, Morrigan."
Morrigan smiled ruefully. "Thaddea said it's all I ever talk about."
"Pfft, who cares what Thaddea says?" Hawthorne piped up. "She's only jealous. I think we all are, to be honest. I wish I could see the ghostly hours."